Sunday, December 21, 2014

17 Signs Your Cat Is Actually Satan Himself

No cat is your friend. Their cuteness is merely a disguise forged by Satan; the master of deception leading all of humanity astray.

Now, the average person would not ordinarily admit to worshipping Satan – but ask someone if they love cats – and it’s a completely different story. Little do you know they are one and the same.

Rooms explode with an onslaught of coos and awws the moment a cat enters. And why shouldn’t they – they’re cute as buttons, right? Wrong.

That, dear human, is your mind being infected by a demonic parasite called Toxoplasma gondii. If you call your feline fiend your “fur baby” and regularly update the world with photos of it as if it were the Egyptian Bastet herself, then you’re probably more possessed than you thought.

Before you protest your cat’s innocence; wailing “Not my Smudge!” from the top of your lungs and showering your Hell spawn with treats, read the following warning signs. If your kitty ticks the boxes, it’s time to call the priest…

Satanic murder trial of Texas teenager full of horrific, lurid details

The opening statements in the trial of a Texas teenager charged with murder were so horrific and shocking, members of the jury wept.

Jose Reyes is charged with murder for a heinous attack against a 15-year-old girl in what prosecutors say was a sacrifice to Satan.

Reyes and another teen savagely beat Corriann Cervantes in a Houston apartment as an attempt to sell their souls to the devil, authorities said.

The girl begged for mercy as her attackers gouged out an eye, sexually assaulted her, stabbed her multiple times with a screwdriver and bashed her head and face in with the lid of toilet tank, Assistant Harris County District Attorney John Jordan told jurors Monday.

"There were pieces of porcelain embedded in her face," Jordan said.

"Whether or not the devil was involved, what happened in that apartment was sadistic and inhumane," he told distressed jurors, some of whom cried.

As for Reyes, "He said he had no regrets," the prosecutor said.

Saturday, December 20, 2014

Satanic prayer could be coming to Lake Worth commission meeting

Chaz Stevens wants to deliver Satan’s message at a city commission meeting.

Stevens, from Deerfield Beach, said he doesn’t believe in Satan. He’s an atheist who said he just wants to show how ridiculous it is to pray at City Hall.

Last week, four commissioners walked out of their own meeting before Lantana atheist Preston Smith delivered an opening invocation mentioning Allah, Satan, Zeus, Jesus, Krishna and Thor.

Mayor Pam Triolo said they left because of an offensive tweet Smith made about God and rape.

The incident inspired Stevens who made a formal request to lead a city prayer. City Clerk Pam Lopez informed Stevens it could take months to pencil him in.

Oklahoma Satanist backing out of controversial Satanic monument project

An Oklahoma group of Satanists who were working to help get a monument to Satan placed at the State Capitol are now backing out.

“Why would I want to give a small child nightmares and destroy their psyche with a monster,” said Satanist Adam Daniels.

Adam Daniels and his wife Kelsey worship the devil and even run a Satanic church at their home.
Known for their controversial annual Black Mass services, the pair caught the eye of The Satanic Temple out of New York earlier this year.

Last January, the group asked Kelsey Daniels to sign a permit application so a Satanic monument could be placed at the State Capitol.

At the time, the couple supported the project.

“We’re going to set it up and if it gets up there people are going to have to look at it,” Daniels said last May. “You`re going to have to look at it in the face.”

Now, the couple has changed their tune.

Monster Energy Shoots Down Viral Video Accusing Company of Using Satanic Imagery

The Monster Energy drink company is denying claims that it uses satanic imagery on its cans, despite accusations featured in a YouTube video that went viral earlier this month.

The YouTube clip titled "Monster Energy drinks are the work of SATAN!!!!" features author Christine Weick and has garnered close to 7 million views as of Monday afternoon. The video makes the claim that the M used on the can represents the numbers 666 in Hebrew.

"There's a gap right here in the letter M, it's never connected," said Weick, explaining what she believes is the true meaning behind the M artwork. "So you go into Hebrew (writing). The letter vav is also the number six. Short top long tail."

She then shows how the M on the can is comprised of three separate lines or vavs with a "short top" and "long tail" that would spell out 666 when viewed side by side.

"I could just tell you that it's not true," Janet, a Monster Energy drink representative with the consumer relations deptartment (who declined to give her last name), told The Christian Post on Monday. "The M claw represents [the letter] M scratched on the can and doesn't represent anything else."

NASA Heard UFO Signals From Comet 67P — Real Reason For Landing On Comet, UFO Site Claims

NASA received radio signals from Comet 67P for 20 years before the European Space Agency sent the Rosetta space probe on its incredible mission that landed a human-built spacecraft on the surface of the comet — the first space landing on a comet in human history — a source claiming to be an ESA insider says.

The unexplained signals were the real reason that the Rosetta mission targeted Comet 67P, the email published by the blog UFO Sightings Daily claims.

Earlier in November, the ESA actually announced that it was, in fact, picking up mysterious signals from the comet, calling the signals “a mysterious ‘song’ that Comet 67P/Churyumov-Gerasimenko is singing into space,” calling to mind the musical form of communication use by the fictional aliens in the classic Stephen Spieleberg sci-fi film Close Encounters Of The Third Kind.
“The comet seems to be emitting a ‘song’ in the form of oscillations in the magnetic field in the comet’s environment,” the ESA said in a November 11 online post. “It is being sung at 40-50 millihertz, far below human hearing. To make the music audible to the human ear, the frequencies have been increased in this recording…”

Friday, December 19, 2014

What Happened Aboard History's Most Baffling Ghost Ship?

When the merchant ship Mary Celeste set sail from New York on November 7, 1872, all signs pointed to an uneventful journey. When it was discovered just under a month later completely abandoned, yet still in seaworthy condition, and with personal effects from its missing crew intact — it quickly entered maritime lore.

Almost exactly 142 years later (reports differ if it was December 4 or 5), the Mary Celeste still fascinates; its strange tale inspired a Sir Arthur Conan Doyle story, a Doctor Who storyline, deep-sea adventurer and novelist Clive Cussler, and multiple songs and novels.

What happened aboard the Mary Celeste? Why did its crew and passengers, which included captain Benjamin Briggs, his wife Sarah, and their toddler daughter, simply vanish, leaving a ship full of cargo (including enough food and water for six months) behind? A mystery this juicy has obviously inspired plenty of theories (Mutiny? Pirates?) and speculation (Kraken attack? Aliens?) over the years.

One guess has to do with the fact that the ship was toting over 1,700 barrels of industrial grade alcohol in its hold, though not all Mary Celeste experts agree.

In 2007, documentarian Anne MacGregor made The True Story of the Mary Celeste. The film, which was partly funded by the Smithsonian, used contemporary technology to launch a forensic investigation into the case. 

The Ghost Ship Sea Bird: An Unnatural Fear of Historical Plot Holes

Nobody likes a plot hole.  How am I supposed to enjoy the narrative if you keep testing the limits to my suspension of disbelief?  I mean, nobody was actually in the room to hear John Foster Kane whisper “Rosebud” as he gave up the ghost, yet Citizen Kane revolves around investigating the meaning of the word.  It only took a day or two for Han Solo and Princess Leia to reach Cloud City in The Empire Strikes Back, whereas Luke is hanging out with Yoda in grueling Jedi bootcamp, but young Skywalker turns up in Bespin right after they are captured.  Heck, in the biblical Genesis story, Cain is the only surviving son of the first two humans ever created, yet manages to meet his wife (Genesis 4:17).  Those little paradoxes, anachronisms, impossible events, implausible timelines, contradictory statements, and exercises in illogic that disrupt the flow of a story can really get on your nerves.  We’re willing to overlook a bit of poetic license in the name of entertainment.  Plot holes and inconsistencies become maddeningly irritating when you spend your time trying to reconstruct historical reports of strange phenomena.  It helps if you drink.  The essential problem is that anomalistic occurrences are the very definition of an illogical eruption, popping the comfortable bubble of our credulity.  What happened shouldn’t have happened, and consequently we frequently see supernatural narratives, at first rooted in eyewitness accounts, tantalizing evidence of oddity, and memorable precisely because of their bizarre nature, meandering into the realm of interpretation in an effort to plug up those pesky plot holes, hoping to bridge the gap between fantasy and the fantastic.  While researching the fate of the SV Sea Bird, a famed ghost ship of Newport, Rhode Island, I went straight over the handlebars and face first into a minefield of gaping plot holes.  Now I am determined to climb my way out.  Or at least climb high enough to get a cell phone signal.  After all, I’m not a Neanderthal.

Interested In Performing Exorcisms? Delaware Church Conducts Regular Classes

Leaders at the Lighthouse Church in Wyoming, Delaware, have begun conducting “Exorcism Classes” for the masses. They have even been advertising the program as a way to get closer to God and act as his holy army.

The practice of ridding a body of a troublesome spirit dates back thousands of years. But to date, we have trusted only ordained ministers of the church to liberate people from the clutches of evil. Now the kind ministers at the Lighthouse Church, nestled between two homes on Route 15 and just across the street from the Wyoming Town Hall, are conducting classes which aim to teach common folks the dangerous act of pulling out evil spirits from a live human being – a practice commonly referred to as an exorcism.

The church’s door is adorned with a large banner that urges people to enlist in “God’s Army” to help eradicate Satan through the church’s teachings. Alongside pink and white flowers, the church also hangs an Israeli flag and weapons like a broadsword to complete the effect and ensure people they mean business.

Did Moses really part the Red Sea?

The miraculous parting of the Red Sea that enabled the Israelites to escape from Egypt is one of the best known biblical stories, a tale that has even made its way on to the silver screen both in the Charlton Heston classic The Ten Commandments and more recently in Ridley Scott's Exodus: Gods and Kings.

But did these events actually occur - did Moses really part the waters of the Red Sea? As it turns out there is a scientific basis to support the idea that something like this could happen.

In a recent study, software engineer Carl Drews created a computer model to demonstrate that a phenomenon known as "wind setdown" might be the key to explaining what happened.

Thursday, December 18, 2014

Ivy League Exorcist: The Bobby Jindal Story

Are we sending aliens the right messages? Why aliens have not returned our calls!

Artist Carrie Paterson has long dreamed of beaming messages far out to the emptiness of space. Except her messages would have an extra dimension – smell.

By broadcasting formulae of aromatic chemicals, she says, aliens could reconstruct all sorts of whiffs that help to define life on Earth: animal blood and faeces, sweet floral and citrus scents or benzene to show our global dependence on the car. This way intelligent life forms on distant planets who may not see or hear as we do, says Paterson, could explore us through smell, one of the most primitive and ubiquitous senses of all.

Her idea is only the latest in a list of attempts to hail intelligent life outside of the Solar System. Forty years ago this month, the Arecibo radio telescope in Puerto Rico sent an iconic picture message into space – and we’ve arguably been broadcasting to aliens ever since we invented TV and radio.

However in recent years, astronomers, artists, linguists and anthropologists have been converging on the idea that creating comprehensible messages for aliens is much harder than it seems. This week, Paterson and others discussed the difficulties of talking to our cosmic neighbours at a conference called Communicating Across the Cosmos, held by Seti (Search for Extraterrestrial Intelligence). It seems our traditional ways of communicating through pictures and language may well be unintelligible – or worse, be catastrophically misconstrued. So how should we be talking to ET?

Lost in translation?

We have always wanted to send messages about humanity beyond the planet. According to Albert Harrison, a space psychologist and author of Starstruck: Cosmic Visions in Science, Religion and Folklore, the first serious designs for contacting alien life appeared two centuries ago, though they never got off the ground.

In the 1800s, mathematician Carl Gauss proposed cutting down lines of trees in a densely forested area and replanting the strips with wheat or rye, Harrison wrote in his book. “The contrasting colours would form a giant triangle and three squares known as a Pythagoras figure which could be seen from the Moon or even Mars.” Not long after, the astronomer Joseph von Littrow proposed creating huge water-filled channels topped with kerosene. “Igniting them at night showed geometric patterns such as triangles that Martians would interpret as a sign of intelligence, not nature.”

But in the 20th Century, we began to broadcast in earnest. The message sent by Arecibo hoped to make first contact on its 21,000 year journey to the edge of the Milky Way. The sketches it contained, made from just 1,679 digital bits, look cute to us today, very much of the ‘Pong’ video game generation.  Just before then, Nasa’s Pioneer 10 and 11 space probes each carried a metal calling card bolted onto their frame with symbols and drawings on the plaque, showing a naked man and woman.
Yet it’s possible that these kinds of message may turn out to be incomprehensible to aliens; they might find it as cryptic as we find Stone Age etchings.